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<title>The Merry Wives of Windsor</title>

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<section id="preamble">

<h1>The Merry Wives of Windsor</h1>

<section id="dramatis-personae"><h2>Dramatis Personae</h2>

<ol class="persona-group">
  <li>SIR JOHN FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>FENTON, a gentleman.</li>
  <li>SHALLOW, a country justice.</li>
  <li>SLENDER, cousin to Shallow.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="persona-group" data-description="two gentlemen dwelling at Windsor.">
  <li>FORD</li>
  <li>PAGE</li>
</ol>

<ol class="persona-group">
  <li>WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page.</li>
  <li>SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson.</li>
  <li>DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician.</li>
  <li>Host of the Garter Inn. </li>
</ol>

<ol class="persona-group" data-description="sharpers attending on Falstaff.">
  <li>BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>PISTOL</li>
  <li>NYM</li>
</ol>

<ol class="persona-group">
  <li>ROBIN, page to Falstaff.</li>
  <li>SIMPLE, servant to Slender.</li>
  <li>RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius.</li>
  <li>MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>ANNE PAGE, her daughter.</li>
  <li>MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius.</li>
  <li>Servants to Page, Ford, &c.</li>
</ol>

</section>

<div id="scene-description">SCENE  Windsor, and the neighbourhood.</div>

</section>

<section class="act">

<h2>ACT I</h2>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE I.  Windsor. Before PAGE's house.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-</li>
  <li>chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John</li>
  <li>Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and</li>
  <li class="number">'Coram.'</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born,</li>
  <li>master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any</li>
  <li>bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.'</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three</li>
  <li>hundred years.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>All his successors gone before him hath done't; and</li>
  <li>all his ancestors that come after him may: they may</li>
  <li>give the dozen white luces in their coat.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">It is an old coat.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;</li>
  <li>it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to</li>
  <li>man, and signifies love.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">I may quarter, coz.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>You may, by marrying.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Not a whit.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat,</li>
  <li class="number">there is but three skirts for yourself, in my</li>
  <li>simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir</li>
  <li>John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto</li>
  <li>you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my</li>
  <li>benevolence to make atonements and compremises</li>
  <li class="number">between you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>The council shall bear it; it is a riot.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no</li>
  <li>fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall</li>
  <li>desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a</li>
  <li class="number">riot; take your vizaments in that.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword</li>
  <li>should end it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:</li>
  <li>and there is also another device in my prain, which</li>
  <li class="number">peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there</li>
  <li>is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas</li>
  <li>Page, which is pretty virginity.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks</li>
  <li>small like a woman.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as</li>
  <li>you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,</li>
  <li>and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his</li>
  <li>death's-bed — Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!</li>
  <li> — give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years</li>
  <li class="number">old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles</li>
  <li>and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master</li>
  <li>Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do</li>
  <li>despise one that is false, or as I despise one that</li>
  <li class="number">is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I</li>
  <li>beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will</li>
  <li>peat the door for Master Page.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Knocks</li>
  <li>What, hoa! Got pless your house here!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Within  Who's there?</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice</li>
  <li>Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that</li>
  <li>peradventures shall tell you another tale, if</li>
  <li>matters grow to your likings.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>I am glad to see your worships well.</li>
  <li class="number">I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it</li>
  <li>your good heart! I wished your venison better; it</li>
  <li>was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page? — and I</li>
  <li>thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Sir, I thank you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he</li>
  <li>was outrun on Cotsall.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">It could not be judged, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>You'll not confess, you'll not confess.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;</li>
  <li>'tis a good dog.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>A cur, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be</li>
  <li>more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John</li>
  <li>Falstaff here?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good</li>
  <li>office between you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>He hath wronged me, Master Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that</li>
  <li>so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he</li>
  <li class="number">hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert</li>
  <li>Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Here comes Sir John.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and</li>
  <li class="number">broke open my lodge.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>But not kissed your keeper's daughter?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I will answer it straight; I have done all this.</li>
  <li>That is now answered.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">The council shall know this.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:</li>
  <li>you'll be laughed at.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your</li>
  <li class="number">head: what matter have you against me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;</li>
  <li>and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,</li>
  <li>Nym, and Pistol.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>You Banbury cheese!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">Ay, it is no matter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>How now, Mephostophilus!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Ay, it is no matter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is</li>
  <li>three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that</li>
  <li>is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is</li>
  <li>myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,</li>
  <li>lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">We three, to hear it and end it between them.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-</li>
  <li>book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with</li>
  <li>as great discreetly as we can.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Pistol!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li class="number">He hears with ears.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He</li>
  <li>hears with ear'? why, it is affectations.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might</li>
  <li class="number">never come in mine own great chamber again else, of</li>
  <li>seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward</li>
  <li>shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two</li>
  <li>pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Is this true, Pistol?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine,</li>
  <li>I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.</li>
  <li>Word of denial in thy labras here!</li>
  <li>Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">By these gloves, then, 'twas he.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say</li>
  <li>'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's</li>
  <li>humour on me; that is the very note of it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for</li>
  <li class="number">though I cannot remember what I did when you made me</li>
  <li>drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>What say you, Scarlet and John?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Why, sir, for my part I say the gentleman had drunk</li>
  <li>himself out of his five sentences.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and</li>
  <li>so conclusions passed the careires.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no</li>
  <li>matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again,</li>
  <li class="number">but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick:</li>
  <li>if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have</li>
  <li>the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD
and MISTRESS PAGE, following</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit ANNE PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>How now, Mistress Ford!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met:</li>
  <li>by your leave, good mistress.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Kisses her</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a</li>
  <li>hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope</li>
  <li>we shall drink down all unkindness.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt all except SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of</li>
  <li>Songs and Sonnets here.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Enter SIMPLE</li>
  <li class="number">How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait</li>
  <li>on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles</li>
  <li>about you, have you?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice</li>
  <li>Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight</li>
  <li class="number">afore Michaelmas?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with</li>
  <li>you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a</li>
  <li>tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh</li>
  <li>here. Do you understand me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so,</li>
  <li>I shall do that that is reason.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Nay, but understand me.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>So I do, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will</li>
  <li class="number">description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray</li>
  <li>you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his</li>
  <li>country, simple though I stand here.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>But that is not the question: the question is</li>
  <li class="number">concerning your marriage.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Ay, there's the point, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any</li>
  <li>reasonable demands.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to</li>
  <li>know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers</li>
  <li>philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the</li>
  <li>mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your</li>
  <li>good will to the maid?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that</li>
  <li>would do reason.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak</li>
  <li>possitable, if you can carry her your desires</li>
  <li class="number">towards her.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I will do a greater thing than that, upon your</li>
  <li>request, cousin, in any reason.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do</li>
  <li class="number">is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there</li>
  <li>be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may</li>
  <li>decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are</li>
  <li>married and have more occasion to know one another;</li>
  <li class="number">I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt:</li>
  <li>but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that</li>
  <li>I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in</li>
  <li>the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our</li>
  <li class="number">meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Ay, I think my cousin meant well.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Here comes fair Mistress Anne.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Re-enter ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">The dinner is on the table; my father desires your</li>
  <li>worships' company.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Will't please your worship to come in, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>The dinner attends you, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,</li>
  <li>sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my</li>
  <li>cousin Shallow.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit SIMPLE</li>
  <li class="number">A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his</li>
  <li>friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy</li>
  <li>yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I</li>
  <li>live like a poor gentleman born.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>I may not go in without your worship: they will not</li>
  <li class="number">sit till you come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as</li>
  <li>though I did.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>I pray you, sir, walk in.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised</li>
  <li class="number">my shin th' other day with playing at sword and</li>
  <li>dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a</li>
  <li>dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot</li>
  <li>abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your</li>
  <li>dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at</li>
  <li>it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see</li>
  <li>the bear loose, are you not?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Ay, indeed, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen</li>
  <li>Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by</li>
  <li>the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so</li>
  <li>cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,</li>
  <li>indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored</li>
  <li class="number">rough things.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Nay, pray you, lead the way.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Come on, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.</li>
  <li>You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE II.  The same.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which</li>
  <li>is the way: and there dwells one Mistress Quickly,</li>
  <li>which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry</li>
  <li>nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and</li>
  <li class="number">his wringer.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Well, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it</li>
  <li>is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with</li>
  <li>Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire</li>
  <li class="number">and require her to solicit your master's desires to</li>
  <li>Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will</li>
  <li>make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE III.  A room in the Garter Inn.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL,
and ROBIN</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Mine host of the Garter!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly and wisely.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my</li>
  <li>followers.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I sit at ten pounds a week.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I</li>
  <li>will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall</li>
  <li>tap: said I well, bully Hector?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Do so, good mine host.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>I have spoke; let him follow.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">To BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade:</li>
  <li>an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered</li>
  <li class="number">serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit BARDOLPH</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox: his</li>
  <li class="number">thefts were too open; his filching was like an</li>
  <li>unskilful singer; he kept not time.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>'Convey,' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! a fico</li>
  <li>for the phrase!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Why, then, let kibes ensue.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Young ravens must have food.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Which of you know Ford of this town?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li class="number">I ken the wight: he is of substance good.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Two yards, and more.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two</li>
  <li>yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about</li>
  <li class="number">thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's</li>
  <li>wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses,</li>
  <li>she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I</li>
  <li>can construe the action of her familiar style; and</li>
  <li>the hardest voice of her behavior, to be Englished</li>
  <li class="number">rightly, is, 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>He hath studied her will, and translated her will,</li>
  <li>out of honesty into English.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her</li>
  <li class="number">husband's purse: he hath a legion of angels.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I have writ me here a letter to her: and here</li>
  <li>another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good</li>
  <li class="number">eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious</li>
  <li>oeillades; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my</li>
  <li>foot, sometimes my portly belly.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Then did the sun on dunghill shine.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>I thank thee for that humour.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a</li>
  <li>greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did</li>
  <li>seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's</li>
  <li>another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she</li>
  <li>is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will</li>
  <li class="number">be cheater to them both, and they shall be</li>
  <li>exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West</li>
  <li>Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou</li>
  <li>this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to</li>
  <li>Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li class="number">Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,</li>
  <li>And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>I will run no base humour: here, take the</li>
  <li>humour-letter: I will keep the havior of reputation.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>To ROBIN  Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;</li>
  <li class="number">Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.</li>
  <li>Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;</li>
  <li>Trudge, plod away o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!</li>
  <li>Falstaff will learn the humour of the age,</li>
  <li>French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted page.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li class="number">Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,</li>
  <li>And high and low beguiles the rich and poor:</li>
  <li>Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,</li>
  <li>Base Phrygian Turk!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>I have operations which be humours of revenge.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li class="number">Wilt thou revenge?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>By welkin and her star!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>With wit or steel?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>With both the humours, I:</li>
  <li>I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li class="number">And I to Ford shall eke unfold</li>
  <li>How Falstaff, varlet vile,</li>
  <li>His dove will prove, his gold will hold,</li>
  <li>And his soft couch defile.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to</li>
  <li class="number">deal with poison; I will possess him with</li>
  <li>yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous:</li>
  <li>that is my true humour.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE IV.  A room in DOCTOR CAIUS' house.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement,</li>
  <li>and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor</li>
  <li>Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find any</li>
  <li>body in the house, here will be an old abusing of</li>
  <li class="number">God's patience and the king's English.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>I'll go watch.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in</li>
  <li>faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit RUGBY</li>
  <li>An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant</li>
  <li class="number">shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no</li>
  <li>tell-tale nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is,</li>
  <li>that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish</li>
  <li>that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let</li>
  <li>that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li class="number">Ay, for fault of a better.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>And Master Slender's your master?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Ay, forsooth.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Does he not wear a great round beard, like a</li>
  <li>glover's paring-knife?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li class="number">No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a</li>
  <li>little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>A softly-sprighted man, is he not?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands</li>
  <li>as any is between this and his head; he hath fought</li>
  <li class="number">with a warrener.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>How say you? O, I should remember him: does he not</li>
  <li>hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Yes, indeed, does he.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell</li>
  <li class="number">Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your</li>
  <li>master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish — </li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter RUGBY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>Out, alas! here comes my master.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man;</li>
  <li>go into this closet: he will not stay long.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Shuts SIMPLE in the closet</li>
  <li class="number">What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say!</li>
  <li>Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt</li>
  <li>he be not well, that he comes not home.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Singing</li>
  <li>And down, down, adown-a, etc..</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter DOCTOR CAIUS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you,</li>
  <li class="number">go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box,</li>
  <li>a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Aside</li>
  <li>I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found</li>
  <li>the young man, he would have been horn-mad.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je</li>
  <li>m'en vais a la cour — la grande affaire.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Is it this, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, quickly. Vere</li>
  <li>is dat knave Rugby?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">What, John Rugby! John!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>Here, sir!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come,</li>
  <li>take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me!</li>
  <li>Qu'ai-j'oublie! dere is some simples in my closet,</li>
  <li>dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Ay me, he'll find the young man here, and be mad!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villain! larron!</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Pulling SIMPLE out</li>
  <li class="number">Rugby, my rapier!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Good master, be content.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Wherefore shall I be content-a?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>The young man is an honest man.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is</li>
  <li class="number">no honest man dat shall come in my closet.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth</li>
  <li>of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Vell.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Ay, forsooth; to desire her to — </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Peace, I pray you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to</li>
  <li>speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my</li>
  <li>master in the way of marriage.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my</li>
  <li>finger in the fire, and need not.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper.</li>
  <li>Tarry you a little-a while.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Writes</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Aside to SIMPLE  I am glad he is so quiet: if he</li>
  <li class="number">had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him</li>
  <li>so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding,</li>
  <li>man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and</li>
  <li>the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my</li>
  <li>master —  I may call him my master, look you, for I</li>
  <li class="number">keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake,</li>
  <li>scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds and do</li>
  <li>all myself —  </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Aside to MISTRESS QUICKLY  'Tis a great charge to</li>
  <li>come under one body's hand.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Aside to SIMPLE  Are you avised o' that? you</li>
  <li>shall find it a great charge: and to be up early</li>
  <li>and down late; but notwithstanding —  to tell you in</li>
  <li>your ear; I would have no words of it —  my master</li>
  <li>himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but</li>
  <li class="number">notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind —  that's</li>
  <li>neither here nor there.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by</li>
  <li>gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in dee</li>
  <li>park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest</li>
  <li class="number">to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good</li>
  <li>you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two</li>
  <li>stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw</li>
  <li>at his dog:</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit SIMPLE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Alas, he speaks but for his friend.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me</li>
  <li>dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I</li>
  <li>vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine</li>
  <li>host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I</li>
  <li>will myself have Anne Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We</li>
  <li>must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have</li>
  <li>not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my</li>
  <li>door. Follow my heels, Rugby.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I</li>
  <li>know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor</li>
  <li>knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more</li>
  <li>than I do with her, I thank heaven.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Within  Who's within there? ho!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FENTON</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>How now, good woman? how dost thou?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>The better that it pleases your good worship to ask.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and</li>
  <li class="number">gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you</li>
  <li>that by the way; I praise heaven for it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but</li>
  <li>notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a</li>
  <li class="number">book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart</li>
  <li>above your eye?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Yes, marry, have I; what of that?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such</li>
  <li>another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever</li>
  <li class="number">broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I</li>
  <li>shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But</li>
  <li>indeed she is given too much to allicholy and</li>
  <li>musing: but for you — well, go to.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money</li>
  <li class="number">for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if</li>
  <li>thou seest her before me, commend me.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your</li>
  <li>worship more of the wart the next time we have</li>
  <li>confidence; and of other wooers.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li class="number">Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Farewell to your worship.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit FENTON</li>
  <li>Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not;</li>
  <li>for I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out</li>
  <li>upon't! what have I forgot?</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

</section>

</section>

<section class="act">

<h2>ACT II</h2>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE I.  Before PAGE'S house.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>What, have I scaped love-letters in the holiday-</li>
  <li>time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them?</li>
  <li>Let me see.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Reads</li>
  <li>'Ask me no reason why I love you; for though</li>
  <li class="number">Love use Reason for his physician, he admits him</li>
  <li>not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more</li>
  <li>am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry,</li>
  <li>so am I; ha, ha! then there's more sympathy: you</li>
  <li>love sack, and so do I; would you desire better</li>
  <li class="number">sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page —  at</li>
  <li>the least, if the love of soldier can suffice —  </li>
  <li>that I love thee. I will not say, pity me; 'tis</li>
  <li>not a soldier-like phrase: but I say, love me. By me,</li>
  <li>Thine own true knight,</li>
  <li class="number">By day or night,</li>
  <li>Or any kind of light,</li>
  <li>With all his might</li>
  <li>For thee to fight,    JOHN FALSTAFF'</li>
  <li>What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked</li>
  <li class="number">world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with</li>
  <li>age to show himself a young gallant! What an</li>
  <li>unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard</li>
  <li>picked — with the devil's name! — out of my</li>
  <li>conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me?</li>
  <li class="number">Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What</li>
  <li>should I say to him? I was then frugal of my</li>
  <li>mirth: Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill</li>
  <li>in the parliament for the putting down of men. How</li>
  <li>shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be,</li>
  <li class="number">as sure as his guts are made of puddings.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS FORD</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very</li>
  <li>ill.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Faith, but you do, in my mind.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Well, I do then; yet I say I could show you to the</li>
  <li>contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>What's the matter, woman?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I</li>
  <li class="number">could come to such honour!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Hang the trifle, woman! take the honour. What is</li>
  <li>it? dispense with trifles; what is it?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so,</li>
  <li>I could be knighted.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">What? thou liest! Sir Alice Ford! These knights</li>
  <li>will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the</li>
  <li>article of thy gentry.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I</li>
  <li>might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat</li>
  <li class="number">men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of</li>
  <li>men's liking: and yet he would not swear; praised</li>
  <li>women's modesty; and gave such orderly and</li>
  <li>well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I</li>
  <li>would have sworn his disposition would have gone to</li>
  <li class="number">the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere</li>
  <li>and keep place together than the Hundredth Psalm to</li>
  <li>the tune of 'Green Sleeves.' What tempest, I trow,</li>
  <li>threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his</li>
  <li>belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged</li>
  <li class="number">on him? I think the best way were to entertain him</li>
  <li>with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted</li>
  <li>him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and</li>
  <li>Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery</li>
  <li class="number">of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy</li>
  <li>letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I</li>
  <li>protest, mine never shall. I warrant he hath a</li>
  <li>thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for</li>
  <li>different names — sure, more —  and these are of the</li>
  <li class="number">second edition: he will print them, out of doubt;</li>
  <li>for he cares not what he puts into the press, when</li>
  <li>he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess,</li>
  <li>and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you</li>
  <li>twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very</li>
  <li>words. What doth he think of us?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Nay, I know not: it makes me almost ready to</li>
  <li>wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain</li>
  <li>myself like one that I am not acquainted withal;</li>
  <li class="number">for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I</li>
  <li>know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>'Boarding,' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him</li>
  <li>above deck.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>So will I if he come under my hatches, I'll never</li>
  <li class="number">to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's</li>
  <li>appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in</li>
  <li>his suit and lead him on with a fine-baited delay,</li>
  <li>till he hath pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him,</li>
  <li class="number">that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O,</li>
  <li>that my husband saw this letter! it would give</li>
  <li>eternal food to his jealousy.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Why, look where he comes; and my good man too: he's</li>
  <li>as far from jealousy as I am from giving him cause;</li>
  <li class="number">and that I hope is an unmeasurable distance.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>You are the happier woman.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Let's consult together against this greasy knight.</li>
  <li>Come hither.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">They retire</div>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with NYM</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Well, I hope it be not so.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li class="number">Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs:</li>
  <li>Sir John affects thy wife.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Why, sir, my wife is not young.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor,</li>
  <li>Both young and old, one with another, Ford;</li>
  <li class="number">He loves the gallimaufry: Ford, perpend.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Love my wife!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go thou,</li>
  <li>Like Sir Actaeon he, with Ringwood at thy heels:</li>
  <li>O, odious is the name!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">What name, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>The horn, I say. Farewell.</li>
  <li>Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by night:</li>
  <li>Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo-birds do sing.</li>
  <li>Away, Sir Corporal Nym!</li>
  <li class="number">Believe it, Page; he speaks sense.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Aside  I will be patient; I will find out this.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">NYM</li>
  <li>To PAGE  And this is true; I like not the humour</li>
  <li>of lying. He hath wronged me in some humours: I</li>
  <li>should have borne the humoured letter to her; but I</li>
  <li class="number">have a sword and it shall bite upon my necessity.</li>
  <li>He loves your wife; there's the short and the long.</li>
  <li>My name is Corporal Nym; I speak and I avouch; 'tis</li>
  <li>true: my name is Nym and Falstaff loves your wife.</li>
  <li>Adieu. I love not the humour of bread and cheese,</li>
  <li class="number">and there's the humour of it. Adieu.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>'The humour of it,' quoth a'! here's a fellow</li>
  <li>frights English out of his wits.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I will seek out Falstaff.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">If I do find it: well.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest</li>
  <li>o' the town commended him for a true man.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>'Twas a good sensible fellow: well.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>How now, Meg!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Whither go you, George? Hark you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home, go.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head. Now,</li>
  <li>will you go, Mistress Page?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Aside to MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Look who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger</li>
  <li>to this paltry knight.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Aside to MISTRESS PAGE  Trust me, I thought on her:</li>
  <li>she'll fit it.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">You are come to see my daughter Anne?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good Mistress Anne?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Go in with us and see: we have an hour's talk with</li>
  <li>you.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and MISTRESS QUICKLY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>How now, Master Ford!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">You heard what this knave told me, did you not?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Yes: and you heard what the other told me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Do you think there is truth in them?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would</li>
  <li>offer it: but these that accuse him in his intent</li>
  <li class="number">towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded men;</li>
  <li>very rogues, now they be out of service.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Were they his men?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Marry, were they.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at</li>
  <li class="number">the Garter?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage</li>
  <li>towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and</li>
  <li>what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it</li>
  <li>lie on my head.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to</li>
  <li>turn them together. A man may be too confident: I</li>
  <li>would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Look where my ranting host of the Garter comes:</li>
  <li>there is either liquor in his pate or money in his</li>
  <li class="number">purse when he looks so merrily.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Enter Host</li>
  <li>How now, mine host!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>How now, bully-rook! thou'rt a gentleman.</li>
  <li>Cavaleiro-justice, I say!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SHALLOW</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and</li>
  <li class="number">twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go</li>
  <li>with us? we have sport in hand.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Tell him, cavaleiro-justice; tell him, bully-rook.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh</li>
  <li>the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with you.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Drawing him aside</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>What sayest thou, my bully-rook?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>To PAGE  Will you go with us to behold it? My</li>
  <li>merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons;</li>
  <li>and, I think, hath appointed them contrary places;</li>
  <li class="number">for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester.</li>
  <li>Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">They converse apart</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Hast thou no suit against my knight, my</li>
  <li>guest-cavaleire?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of</li>
  <li class="number">burnt sack to give me recourse to him and tell him</li>
  <li>my name is Brook; only for a jest.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress;</li>
  <li> — said I well? — and thy name shall be Brook. It is</li>
  <li>a merry knight. Will you go, An-heires?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">Have with you, mine host.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in</li>
  <li>his rapier.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these times</li>
  <li>you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and</li>
  <li class="number">I know not what: 'tis the heart, Master Page; 'tis</li>
  <li>here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long</li>
  <li>sword I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Have with you. I would rather hear them scold than fight.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt Host, SHALLOW, and PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Though Page be a secure fool, an stands so firmly</li>
  <li>on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my</li>
  <li>opinion so easily: she was in his company at Page's</li>
  <li>house; and what they made there, I know not. Well,</li>
  <li>I will look further into't: and I have a disguise</li>
  <li class="number">to sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not</li>
  <li>my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE II.  A room in the Garter Inn.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I will not lend thee a penny.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Why, then the world's mine oyster.</li>
  <li>Which I with sword will open.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should</li>
  <li class="number">lay my countenance to pawn; I have grated upon my</li>
  <li>good friends for three reprieves for you and your</li>
  <li>coach-fellow Nym; or else you had looked through</li>
  <li>the grate, like a geminy of baboons. I am damned in</li>
  <li>hell for swearing to gentlemen my friends, you were</li>
  <li class="number">good soldiers and tall fellows; and when Mistress</li>
  <li>Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took't upon</li>
  <li>mine honour thou hadst it not.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Didst not thou share? hadst thou not fifteen pence?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Reason, you rogue, reason: thinkest thou I'll</li>
  <li class="number">endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more</li>
  <li>about me, I am no gibbet for you. Go. A short knife</li>
  <li>and a throng! To your manor of Pickt-hatch! Go.</li>
  <li>You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue! you</li>
  <li>stand upon your honour! Why, thou unconfinable</li>
  <li class="number">baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the</li>
  <li>terms of my honour precise: I, I, I myself</li>
  <li>sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand</li>
  <li>and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to</li>
  <li>shuffle, to hedge and to lurch; and yet you, rogue,</li>
  <li class="number">will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain</li>
  <li>looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your</li>
  <li>bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your</li>
  <li>honour! You will not do it, you!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>I do relent: what would thou more of man?</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter ROBIN</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ROBIN</li>
  <li class="number">Sir, here's a woman would speak with you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Let her approach.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Give your worship good morrow.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Good morrow, good wife.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Not so, an't please your worship.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Good maid, then.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>I'll be sworn,</li>
  <li>As my mother was, the first hour I was born.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I do believe the swearer. What with me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Two thousand, fair woman: and I'll vouchsafe thee</li>
  <li>the hearing.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>There is one Mistress Ford, sir: — I pray, come a</li>
  <li>little nearer this ways: — I myself dwell with master</li>
  <li>Doctor Caius —  </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say —  </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Your worship says very true: I pray your worship,</li>
  <li>come a little nearer this ways.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I warrant thee, nobody hears; mine own people, mine</li>
  <li>own people.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Are they so? God bless them and make them his servants!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Well, Mistress Ford; what of her?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord Lord! your</li>
  <li>worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you and all</li>
  <li>of us, I pray!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford —  </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you</li>
  <li>have brought her into such a canaries as 'tis</li>
  <li>wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the</li>
  <li>court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her</li>
  <li class="number">to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and</li>
  <li>lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches, I warrant</li>
  <li>you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift</li>
  <li>after gift; smelling so sweetly, all musk, and so</li>
  <li>rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in</li>
  <li class="number">such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of</li>
  <li>the best and the fairest, that would have won any</li>
  <li>woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never</li>
  <li>get an eye-wink of her: I had myself twenty angels</li>
  <li>given me this morning; but I defy all angels, in</li>
  <li class="number">any such sort, as they say, but in the way of</li>
  <li>honesty: and, I warrant you, they could never get</li>
  <li>her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of</li>
  <li>them all: and yet there has been earls, nay, which</li>
  <li>is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">But what says she to me? be brief, my good</li>
  <li>she-Mercury.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Marry, she hath received your letter, for the which</li>
  <li>she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you</li>
  <li>to notify that her husband will be absence from his</li>
  <li class="number">house between ten and eleven.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Ten and eleven?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the</li>
  <li>picture, she says, that you wot of: Master Ford,</li>
  <li>her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet</li>
  <li class="number">woman leads an ill life with him: he's a very</li>
  <li>jealousy man: she leads a very frampold life with</li>
  <li>him, good heart.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I will</li>
  <li>not fail her.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to</li>
  <li>your worship. Mistress Page hath her hearty</li>
  <li>commendations to you too: and let me tell you in</li>
  <li>your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and</li>
  <li>one, I tell you, that will not miss you morning nor</li>
  <li class="number">evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the</li>
  <li>other: and she bade me tell your worship that her</li>
  <li>husband is seldom from home; but she hopes there</li>
  <li>will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon</li>
  <li>a man: surely I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Not I, I assure thee: setting the attractions of my</li>
  <li>good parts aside I have no other charms.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Blessing on your heart for't!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife and</li>
  <li>Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">That were a jest indeed! they have not so little</li>
  <li>grace, I hope: that were a trick indeed! but</li>
  <li>Mistress Page would desire you to send her your</li>
  <li>little page, of all loves: her husband has a</li>
  <li>marvellous infection to the little page; and truly</li>
  <li class="number">Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in</li>
  <li>Windsor leads a better life than she does: do what</li>
  <li>she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go</li>
  <li>to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as</li>
  <li>she will: and truly she deserves it; for if there</li>
  <li class="number">be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must</li>
  <li>send her your page; no remedy.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Why, I will.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Nay, but do so, then: and, look you, he may come and</li>
  <li>go between you both; and in any case have a</li>
  <li class="number">nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and</li>
  <li>the boy never need to understand any thing; for</li>
  <li>'tis not good that children should know any</li>
  <li>wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion,</li>
  <li>as they say, and know the world.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Fare thee well: commend me to them both: there's</li>
  <li>my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with</li>
  <li>this woman.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exeunt MISTRESS QUICKLY and ROBIN</li>
  <li>This news distracts me!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>This punk is one of Cupid's carriers:</li>
  <li class="number">Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights:</li>
  <li>Give fire: she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Sayest thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make</li>
  <li>more of thy old body than I have done. Will they</li>
  <li>yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense</li>
  <li class="number">of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I</li>
  <li>thank thee. Let them say 'tis grossly done; so it be</li>
  <li>fairly done, no matter.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter BARDOLPH</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Sir John, there's one Master Brook below would fain</li>
  <li>speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath</li>
  <li class="number">sent your worship a morning's draught of sack.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Brook is his name?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Ay, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Call him in.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such</li>
  <li class="number">liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page</li>
  <li>have I encompassed you? go to; via!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Bless you, sir!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>And you, sir! Would you speak with me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I make bold to press with so little preparation upon</li>
  <li class="number">you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>You're welcome. What's your will? Give us leave, drawer.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit BARDOLPH</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you;</li>
  <li class="number">for I must let you understand I think myself in</li>
  <li>better plight for a lender than you are: the which</li>
  <li>hath something embolden'd me to this unseasoned</li>
  <li>intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all</li>
  <li>ways do lie open.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me:</li>
  <li>if you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or</li>
  <li>half, for easing me of the carriage.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Speak, good Master Brook: I shall be glad to be</li>
  <li>your servant.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Sir, I hear you are a scholar —  I will be brief</li>
  <li>with you —  and you have been a man long known to me,</li>
  <li class="number">though I had never so good means, as desire, to make</li>
  <li>myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a</li>
  <li>thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine</li>
  <li>own imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have</li>
  <li>one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded,</li>
  <li class="number">turn another into the register of your own; that I</li>
  <li>may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you</li>
  <li>yourself know how easy it is to be such an offender.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Very well, sir; proceed.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>There is a gentlewoman in this town; her husband's</li>
  <li class="number">name is Ford.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Well, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I have long loved her, and, I protest to you,</li>
  <li>bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting</li>
  <li>observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her;</li>
  <li class="number">fee'd every slight occasion that could but niggardly</li>
  <li>give me sight of her; not only bought many presents</li>
  <li>to give her, but have given largely to many to know</li>
  <li>what she would have given; briefly, I have pursued</li>
  <li>her as love hath pursued me; which hath been on the</li>
  <li class="number">wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have</li>
  <li>merited, either in my mind or, in my means, meed,</li>
  <li>I am sure, I have received none; unless experience</li>
  <li>be a jewel that I have purchased at an infinite</li>
  <li>rate, and that hath taught me to say this:</li>
  <li class="number">'Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;</li>
  <li>Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.'</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Have you received no promise of satisfaction at her hands?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Never.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Have you importuned her to such a purpose?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Never.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Of what quality was your love, then?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Like a fair house built on another man's ground; so</li>
  <li>that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place</li>
  <li>where I erected it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>When I have told you that, I have told you all.</li>
  <li>Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in</li>
  <li>other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that</li>
  <li>there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir</li>
  <li class="number">John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a</li>
  <li>gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable</li>
  <li>discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your</li>
  <li>place and person, generally allowed for your many</li>
  <li>war-like, court-like, and learned preparations.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">O, sir!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Believe it, for you know it. There is money; spend</li>
  <li>it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only</li>
  <li>give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as</li>
  <li>to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this</li>
  <li class="number">Ford's wife: use your art of wooing; win her to</li>
  <li>consent to you: if any man may, you may as soon as</li>
  <li>any.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Would it apply well to the vehemency of your</li>
  <li>affection, that I should win what you would enjoy?</li>
  <li class="number">Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on</li>
  <li>the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my</li>
  <li>soul dares not present itself: she is too bright to</li>
  <li>be looked against. Now, could I could come to her</li>
  <li class="number">with any detection in my hand, my desires had</li>
  <li>instance and argument to commend themselves: I</li>
  <li>could drive her then from the ward of her purity,</li>
  <li>her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand</li>
  <li>other her defences, which now are too too strongly</li>
  <li class="number">embattled against me. What say you to't, Sir John?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Master Brook, I will first make bold with your</li>
  <li>money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a</li>
  <li>gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>O good sir!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">I say you shall.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall want</li>
  <li>none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her</li>
  <li>own appointment; even as you came in to me, her</li>
  <li class="number">assistant or go-between parted from me: I say I</li>
  <li>shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at</li>
  <li>that time the jealous rascally knave her husband</li>
  <li>will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall</li>
  <li>know how I speed.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford,</li>
  <li>sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not:</li>
  <li>yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the</li>
  <li>jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the</li>
  <li class="number">which his wife seems to me well-favored. I will</li>
  <li>use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer;</li>
  <li>and there's my harvest-home.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him</li>
  <li>if you saw him.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will</li>
  <li>stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my</li>
  <li>cudgel: it shall hang like a meteor o'er the</li>
  <li>cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I</li>
  <li>will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt</li>
  <li class="number">lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night.</li>
  <li>Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style;</li>
  <li>thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and</li>
  <li>cuckold. Come to me soon at night.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>What a damned Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is</li>
  <li class="number">ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is</li>
  <li>improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him; the</li>
  <li>hour is fixed; the match is made. Would any man</li>
  <li>have thought this? See the hell of having a false</li>
  <li>woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers</li>
  <li class="number">ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not</li>
  <li>only receive this villanous wrong, but stand under</li>
  <li>the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that</li>
  <li>does me this wrong. Terms! names! Amaimon sounds</li>
  <li>well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are</li>
  <li class="number">devils' additions, the names of fiends: but</li>
  <li>Cuckold! Wittol! — Cuckold! the devil himself hath</li>
  <li>not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass: he</li>
  <li>will trust his wife; he will not be jealous. I will</li>
  <li>rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh</li>
  <li class="number">the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my</li>
  <li>aqua-vitae bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling</li>
  <li>gelding, than my wife with herself; then she plots,</li>
  <li>then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they</li>
  <li>think in their hearts they may effect, they will</li>
  <li class="number">break their hearts but they will effect. God be</li>
  <li>praised for my jealousy! Eleven o'clock the hour.</li>
  <li>I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on</li>
  <li>Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it;</li>
  <li>better three hours too soon than a minute too late.</li>
  <li class="number">Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE III.  A field near Windsor.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Jack Rugby!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>Sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Vat is de clock, Jack?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he</li>
  <li>has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar,</li>
  <li>Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill</li>
  <li>him, if he came.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him.</li>
  <li>Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>Alas, sir, I cannot fence.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Villany, take your rapier.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">RUGBY</li>
  <li>Forbear; here's company.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">Bless thee, bully doctor!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Save you, Master Doctor Caius!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Now, good master doctor!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Give you good morrow, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee</li>
  <li>traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to</li>
  <li>see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy</li>
  <li>distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is</li>
  <li>he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my</li>
  <li class="number">AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is</li>
  <li>he dead, bully stale? is he dead?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he</li>
  <li>is not show his face.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or</li>
  <li>seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of</li>
  <li>souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should</li>
  <li>fight, you go against the hair of your professions.</li>
  <li class="number">Is it not true, Master Page?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great</li>
  <li>fighter, though now a man of peace.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of</li>
  <li>the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to</li>
  <li class="number">make one. Though we are justices and doctors and</li>
  <li>churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our</li>
  <li>youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>'Tis true, Master Shallow.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor</li>
  <li class="number">Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of</li>
  <li>the peace: you have showed yourself a wise</li>
  <li>physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise</li>
  <li>and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">Mock-vater! vat is dat?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de</li>
  <li>Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me</li>
  <li>vill cut his ears.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>That is, he will make thee amends.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me;</li>
  <li>for, by gar, me vill have it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Me tank you for dat.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>And, moreover, bully —  but first, master guest, and</li>
  <li>Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you</li>
  <li>through the town to Frogmore.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Aside to them</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Sir Hugh is there, is he?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will</li>
  <li>bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>We will do it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Adieu, good master doctor.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a</li>
  <li>jack-an-ape to Anne Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold</li>
  <li>water on thy choler: go about the fields with me</li>
  <li>through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress</li>
  <li class="number">Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou</li>
  <li>shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you;</li>
  <li>and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl,</li>
  <li>de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne</li>
  <li>Page. Said I well?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>By gar, 'tis good; vell said.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Let us wag, then.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

</section>

<section class="act">

<h2>ACT III</h2>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE I.  A field near Frogmore.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>I pray you now, good master Slender's serving-man,</li>
  <li>and friend Simple by your name, which way have you</li>
  <li>looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, every</li>
  <li class="number">way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town</li>
  <li>way.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>I most fehemently desire you you will also look that</li>
  <li>way.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>I will, sir.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">'Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and</li>
  <li>trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have</li>
  <li>deceived me. How melancholies I am! I will knog</li>
  <li>his urinals about his knave's costard when I have</li>
  <li>good opportunities for the ork. 'Pless my soul!</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Sings</li>
  <li class="number">To shallow rivers, to whose falls</li>
  <li>Melodious birds sings madrigals;</li>
  <li>There will we make our peds of roses,</li>
  <li>And a thousand fragrant posies.</li>
  <li>To shallow — </li>
  <li class="number">Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Sings</li>
  <li>Melodious birds sing madrigals — </li>
  <li>When as I sat in Pabylon — </li>
  <li>And a thousand vagram posies.</li>
  <li>To shallow &c.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter SIMPLE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li class="number">Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>He's welcome.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Sings</li>
  <li>To shallow rivers, to whose falls-</li>
  <li>Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master</li>
  <li class="number">Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over</li>
  <li>the stile, this way.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>How now, master Parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh.</li>
  <li>Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student</li>
  <li class="number">from his book, and it is wonderful.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Aside  Ah, sweet Anne Page!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>'Save you, good Sir Hugh!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>What, the sword and the word! do you study them</li>
  <li class="number">both, master parson?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>And youthful still! in your doublet and hose this</li>
  <li>raw rheumatic day!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>There is reasons and causes for it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>We are come to you to do a good office, master parson.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">Fery well: what is it?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike</li>
  <li>having received wrong by some person, is at most</li>
  <li>odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you</li>
  <li>saw.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never</li>
  <li>heard a man of his place, gravity and learning, so</li>
  <li>wide of his own respect.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>What is he?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, the</li>
  <li class="number">renowned French physician.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as</li>
  <li>lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Why?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen,</li>
  <li class="number"> — and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave as you</li>
  <li>would desires to be acquainted withal.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Aside  O sweet Anne Page!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder:</li>
  <li class="number">here comes Doctor Caius.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter Host, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>So do you, good master doctor.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep</li>
  <li>their limbs whole and hack our English.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear.</li>
  <li>Vherefore vill you not meet-a me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS  Pray you, use your patience:</li>
  <li>in good time.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS  Pray you let us not be</li>
  <li>laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you</li>
  <li>in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Aloud</li>
  <li>I will knog your urinals about your knave's cockscomb</li>
  <li>for missing your meetings and appointments.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">Diable! Jack Rugby —  mine host de Jarteer —  have I</li>
  <li>not stay for him to kill him? have I not, at de place</li>
  <li>I did appoint?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>As I am a Christians soul now, look you, this is the</li>
  <li>place appointed: I'll be judgement by mine host of</li>
  <li class="number">the Garter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,</li>
  <li>soul-curer and body-curer!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Ay, dat is very good; excellent.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. Am I</li>
  <li class="number">politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I</li>
  <li>lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the</li>
  <li>motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir</li>
  <li>Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the</li>
  <li>no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so. Give me</li>
  <li class="number">thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have</li>
  <li>deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong</li>
  <li>places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are</li>
  <li>whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay</li>
  <li>their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace;</li>
  <li class="number">follow, follow, follow.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Aside  O sweet Anne Page!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt SHALLOW, SLENDER, PAGE, and Host</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Ha, do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of</li>
  <li>us, ha, ha?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I</li>
  <li>desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog</li>
  <li>our prains together to be revenge on this same</li>
  <li>scall, scurvy cogging companion, the host of the Garter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me</li>
  <li class="number">where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE II.  A street.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to</li>
  <li>be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether</li>
  <li>had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ROBIN</li>
  <li>I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man</li>
  <li class="number">than follow him like a dwarf.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>O, you are a flattering boy: now I see you'll be a courtier.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FORD</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want</li>
  <li class="number">of company. I think, if your husbands were dead,</li>
  <li>you two would marry.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Be sure of that —  two other husbands.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Where had you this pretty weather-cock?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my</li>
  <li class="number">husband had him of. What do you call your knight's</li>
  <li>name, sirrah?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ROBIN</li>
  <li>Sir John Falstaff.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Sir John Falstaff!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such a</li>
  <li class="number">league between my good man and he! Is your wife at</li>
  <li>home indeed?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Indeed she is.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>By your leave, sir: I am sick till I see her.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any</li>
  <li class="number">thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them.</li>
  <li>Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile, as</li>
  <li>easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve</li>
  <li>score. He pieces out his wife's inclination; he</li>
  <li>gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she's</li>
  <li class="number">going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A</li>
  <li>man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And</li>
  <li>Falstaff's boy with her! Good plots, they are laid;</li>
  <li>and our revolted wives share damnation together.</li>
  <li>Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck</li>
  <li class="number">the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming</li>
  <li>Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and</li>
  <li>wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings all</li>
  <li>my neighbours shall cry aim.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Clock heard</li>
  <li>The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me</li>
  <li class="number">search: there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be</li>
  <li>rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as</li>
  <li>positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is</li>
  <li>there: I will go.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, Host,
SIR HUGH EVANS, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Well met, Master Ford.</li>
  <li class="number">&c.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home;</li>
  <li>and I pray you all go with me.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>I must excuse myself, Master Ford.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine with</li>
  <li class="number">Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for</li>
  <li>more money than I'll speak of.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and</li>
  <li>my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I hope I have your good will, father Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you:</li>
  <li>but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me: my nursh-a</li>
  <li>Quickly tell me so mush.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>What say you to young Master Fenton? he capers, he</li>
  <li class="number">dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he</li>
  <li>speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will</li>
  <li>carry't, he will carry't; 'tis in his buttons; he</li>
  <li>will carry't.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is</li>
  <li class="number">of no having: he kept company with the wild prince</li>
  <li>and Poins; he is of too high a region; he knows too</li>
  <li>much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes</li>
  <li>with the finger of my substance: if he take her,</li>
  <li>let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on</li>
  <li class="number">my consent, and my consent goes not that way.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I beseech you heartily, some of you go home with me</li>
  <li>to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have</li>
  <li>sport; I will show you a monster. Master doctor,</li>
  <li>you shall go; so shall you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">Well, fare you well: we shall have the freer wooing</li>
  <li>at Master Page's.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt SHALLOW, and SLENDER</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit RUGBY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight</li>
  <li>Falstaff, and drink canary with him.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Aside  I think I shall drink in pipe wine first</li>
  <li>with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">All</li>
  <li>Have with you to see this monster.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE III.  A room in FORD'S house.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>What, John! What, Robert!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Quickly, quickly! is the buck-basket — </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I warrant. What, Robin, I say!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter Servants with a basket</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Come, come, come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Here, set it down.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Give your men the charge; we must be brief.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be</li>
  <li>ready here hard by in the brew-house: and when I</li>
  <li>suddenly call you, come forth, and without any pause</li>
  <li class="number">or staggering take this basket on your shoulders:</li>
  <li>that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry</li>
  <li>it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there</li>
  <li>empty it in the muddy ditch close by the Thames side.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>You will do it?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">I ha' told them over and over; they lack no</li>
  <li>direction. Be gone, and come when you are called.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt Servants</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Here comes little Robin.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter ROBIN</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>How now, my eyas-musket! what news with you?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ROBIN</li>
  <li>My master, Sir John, is come in at your back-door,</li>
  <li class="number">Mistress Ford, and requests your company.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been true to us?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ROBIN</li>
  <li>Ay, I'll be sworn. My master knows not of your</li>
  <li>being here and hath threatened to put me into</li>
  <li>everlasting liberty if I tell you of it; for he</li>
  <li class="number">swears he'll turn me away.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Thou'rt a good boy: this secrecy of thine shall be</li>
  <li>a tailor to thee and shall make thee a new doublet</li>
  <li>and hose. I'll go hide me.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit ROBIN</li>
  <li class="number">Mistress Page, remember you your cue.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome humidity,</li>
  <li>this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know</li>
  <li>turtles from jays.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? Why, now let</li>
  <li>me die, for I have lived long enough: this is the</li>
  <li>period of my ambition: O this blessed hour!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>O sweet Sir John!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate,</li>
  <li class="number">Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would</li>
  <li>thy husband were dead: I'll speak it before the</li>
  <li>best lord; I would make thee my lady.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Let the court of France show me such another. I see</li>
  <li class="number">how thine eye would emulate the diamond: thou hast</li>
  <li>the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the</li>
  <li>ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of</li>
  <li>Venetian admittance.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing</li>
  <li class="number">else; nor that well neither.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so: thou</li>
  <li>wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the firm</li>
  <li>fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion</li>
  <li>to thy gait in a semi-circled farthingale. I see</li>
  <li class="number">what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature</li>
  <li>thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Believe me, there is no such thing in me.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>What made me love thee? let that persuade thee</li>
  <li>there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I</li>
  <li class="number">cannot cog and say thou art this and that, like a</li>
  <li>many of these lisping hawthorn-buds, that come like</li>
  <li>women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury</li>
  <li>in simple time; I cannot: but I love thee; none</li>
  <li>but thee; and thou deservest it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love Mistress Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by the</li>
  <li>Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek</li>
  <li>of a lime-kiln.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one</li>
  <li class="number">day find it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not</li>
  <li>be in that mind.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ROBIN</li>
  <li>Within  Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! here's</li>
  <li class="number">Mistress Page at the door, sweating and blowing and</li>
  <li>looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>She shall not see me: I will ensconce me behind the arras.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling woman.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">FALSTAFF hides himself</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Re-enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN</li>
  <li>What's the matter? how now!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">O Mistress Ford, what have you done? You're shamed,</li>
  <li>you're overthrown, you're undone for ever!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>What's the matter, good Mistress Page?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>O well-a-day, Mistress Ford! having an honest man</li>
  <li>to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">What cause of suspicion?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>What cause of suspicion! Out pon you! how am I</li>
  <li>mistook in you!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Why, alas, what's the matter?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the</li>
  <li class="number">officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman that</li>
  <li>he says is here now in the house by your consent, to</li>
  <li>take an ill advantage of his assence: you are undone.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>'Tis not so, I hope.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man</li>
  <li class="number">here! but 'tis most certain your husband's coming,</li>
  <li>with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a</li>
  <li>one. I come before to tell you. If you know</li>
  <li>yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you</li>
  <li>have a friend here convey, convey him out. Be not</li>
  <li class="number">amazed; call all your senses to you; defend your</li>
  <li>reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>What shall I do? There is a gentleman my dear</li>
  <li>friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his</li>
  <li>peril: I had rather than a thousand pound he were</li>
  <li class="number">out of the house.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>For shame! never stand 'you had rather' and 'you</li>
  <li>had rather:' your husband's here at hand, bethink</li>
  <li>you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot</li>
  <li>hide him. O, how have you deceived me! Look, here</li>
  <li class="number">is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he</li>
  <li>may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as</li>
  <li>if it were going to bucking: or — it is whiting-time</li>
  <li> — send him by your two men to Datchet-mead.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Coming forward  Let me see't, let me see't, O, let</li>
  <li>me see't! I'll in, I'll in. Follow your friend's</li>
  <li>counsel. I'll in.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>What, Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I love thee. Help me away. Let me creep in here.</li>
  <li class="number">I'll never — </li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Gets into the basket; they cover him with foul linen</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Help to cover your master, boy. Call your men,</li>
  <li>Mistress Ford. You dissembling knight!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>What, John! Robert! John!</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit ROBIN</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Re-enter Servants</li>
  <li>Go take up these clothes here quickly. Where's the</li>
  <li class="number">cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! Carry them to</li>
  <li>the laundress in Datchet-meat; quickly, come.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FORD, PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause,</li>
  <li>why then make sport at me; then let me be your jest;</li>
  <li>I deserve it. How now! whither bear you this?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Servant</li>
  <li class="number">To the laundress, forsooth.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You</li>
  <li>were best meddle with buck-washing.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Buck! I would I could wash myself of the buck!</li>
  <li>Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck;</li>
  <li class="number">and of the season too, it shall appear.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exeunt Servants with the basket</li>
  <li>Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night; I'll tell you my</li>
  <li>dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my</li>
  <li>chambers; search, seek, find out: I'll warrant</li>
  <li>we'll unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Locking the door</li>
  <li class="number">So, now uncape.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Good Master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen: you shall see</li>
  <li>sport anon: follow me, gentlemen.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">By gar, 'tis no the fashion of France; it is not</li>
  <li>jealous in France.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Is there not a double excellency in this?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I know not which pleases me better, that my husband</li>
  <li class="number">is deceived, or Sir John.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>What a taking was he in when your husband asked who</li>
  <li>was in the basket!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so</li>
  <li>throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same</li>
  <li>strain were in the same distress.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I think my husband hath some special suspicion of</li>
  <li>Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross</li>
  <li>in his jealousy till now.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">I will lay a plot to try that; and we will yet have</li>
  <li>more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will</li>
  <li>scarce obey this medicine.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress</li>
  <li>Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the</li>
  <li class="number">water; and give him another hope, to betray him to</li>
  <li>another punishment?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>We will do it: let him be sent for to-morrow,</li>
  <li>eight o'clock, to have amends.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter FORD, PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and
SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I cannot find him: may be the knave bragged of that</li>
  <li class="number">he could not compass.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Aside to MISTRESS FORD  Heard you that?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>You use me well, Master Ford, do you?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Ay, I do so.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Heaven make you better than your thoughts!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Amen!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>You do yourself mighty wrong, Master Ford.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Ay, ay; I must bear it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>If there be any pody in the house, and in the</li>
  <li>chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses,</li>
  <li class="number">heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>By gar, nor I too: there is no bodies.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Fie, fie, Master Ford! are you not ashamed? What</li>
  <li>spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I</li>
  <li>would not ha' your distemper in this kind for the</li>
  <li class="number">wealth of Windsor Castle.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>'Tis my fault, Master Page: I suffer for it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as</li>
  <li>honest a 'omans as I will desires among five</li>
  <li>thousand, and five hundred too.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, come, walk in</li>
  <li>the Park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter</li>
  <li>make known to you why I have done this. Come,</li>
  <li>wife; come, Mistress Page. I pray you, pardon me;</li>
  <li class="number">pray heartily, pardon me.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock</li>
  <li>him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house</li>
  <li>to breakfast: after, we'll a-birding together; I</li>
  <li>have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be so?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Any thing.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>If there is one, I shall make two in the company.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>If dere be one or two, I shall make-a the turd.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Pray you, go, Master Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>I pray you now, remembrance tomorrow on the lousy</li>
  <li class="number">knave, mine host.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Dat is good; by gar, with all my heart!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his mockeries!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE IV.  A room in PAGE'S house.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>I see I cannot get thy father's love;</li>
  <li>Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Alas, how then?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Why, thou must be thyself.</li>
  <li class="number">He doth object I am too great of birth — ,</li>
  <li>And that, my state being gall'd with my expense,</li>
  <li>I seek to heal it only by his wealth:</li>
  <li>Besides these, other bars he lays before me,</li>
  <li>My riots past, my wild societies;</li>
  <li class="number">And tells me 'tis a thing impossible</li>
  <li>I should love thee but as a property.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>May be he tells you true.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>No, heaven so speed me in my time to come!</li>
  <li>Albeit I will confess thy father's wealth</li>
  <li class="number">Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne:</li>
  <li>Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value</li>
  <li>Than stamps in gold or sums in sealed bags;</li>
  <li>And 'tis the very riches of thyself</li>
  <li>That now I aim at.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Gentle Master Fenton,</li>
  <li>Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, sir:</li>
  <li>If opportunity and humblest suit</li>
  <li>Cannot attain it, why, then —  hark you hither!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">They converse apart</div>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and MISTRESS QUICKLY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Break their talk, Mistress Quickly: my kinsman shall</li>
  <li class="number">speak for himself.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't: 'slid, 'tis but</li>
  <li>venturing.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Be not dismayed.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that,</li>
  <li class="number">but that I am afeard.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Hark ye; Master Slender would speak a word with you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>I come to him.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Aside</li>
  <li>This is my father's choice.</li>
  <li>O, what a world of vile ill-favor'd faults</li>
  <li class="number">Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a-year!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can tell you</li>
  <li>good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress</li>
  <li class="number">Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of</li>
  <li>a pen, good uncle.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in</li>
  <li>Gloucestershire.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the</li>
  <li>degree of a squire.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li class="number">Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good</li>
  <li>comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Now, Master Slender —  </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Now, good Mistress Anne —  </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>What is your will?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">My will! 'od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest</li>
  <li>indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I</li>
  <li>am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing</li>
  <li class="number">with you. Your father and my uncle hath made</li>
  <li>motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be</li>
  <li>his dole! They can tell you how things go better</li>
  <li>than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter PAGE and MISTRESS PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter Anne.</li>
  <li class="number">Why, how now! what does Master Fenton here?</li>
  <li>You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:</li>
  <li>I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">She is no match for you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Sir, will you hear me?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>No, good Master Fenton.</li>
  <li>Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in.</li>
  <li>Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Speak to Mistress Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter</li>
  <li>In such a righteous fashion as I do,</li>
  <li>Perforce, against all cheques, rebukes and manners,</li>
  <li>I must advance the colours of my love</li>
  <li class="number">And not retire: let me have your good will.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>That's my master, master doctor.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth</li>
  <li class="number">And bowl'd to death with turnips!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master Fenton,</li>
  <li>I will not be your friend nor enemy:</li>
  <li>My daughter will I question how she loves you,</li>
  <li>And as I find her, so am I affected.</li>
  <li class="number">Till then farewell, sir: she must needs go in;</li>
  <li>Her father will be angry.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Farewell, gentle mistress: farewell, Nan.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE and ANNE PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>This is my doing, now: 'Nay,' said I, 'will you cast</li>
  <li>away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on</li>
  <li class="number">Master Fenton:' this is my doing.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night</li>
  <li>Give my sweet Nan this ring: there's for thy pains.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Now heaven send thee good fortune!</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit FENTON</li>
  <li>A kind heart he hath: a woman would run through</li>
  <li class="number">fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I</li>
  <li>would my master had Mistress Anne; or I would</li>
  <li>Master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would Master</li>
  <li>Fenton had her; I will do what I can for them all</li>
  <li>three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good</li>
  <li class="number">as my word; but speciously for Master Fenton. Well,</li>
  <li>I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from</li>
  <li>my two mistresses: what a beast am I to slack it!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE V.  A room in the Garter Inn.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Bardolph, I say —  </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Here, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a</li>
  <li class="number">barrow of butcher's offal, and to be thrown in the</li>
  <li>Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick,</li>
  <li>I'll have my brains ta'en out and buttered, and give</li>
  <li>them to a dog for a new-year's gift. The rogues</li>
  <li>slighted me into the river with as little remorse as</li>
  <li class="number">they would have drowned a blind bitch's puppies,</li>
  <li>fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size</li>
  <li>that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the</li>
  <li>bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had</li>
  <li>been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and</li>
  <li class="number">shallow —  a death that I abhor; for the water swells</li>
  <li>a man; and what a thing should I have been when I</li>
  <li>had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter BARDOLPH with sack</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Here's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my</li>
  <li class="number">belly's as cold as if I had swallowed snowballs for</li>
  <li>pills to cool the reins. Call her in.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Come in, woman!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>By your leave; I cry you mercy: give your worship</li>
  <li>good morrow.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of</li>
  <li>sack finely.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>With eggs, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>How now!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was thrown</li>
  <li>into the ford; I have my belly full of ford.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault:</li>
  <li>she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn</li>
  <li>your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning</li>
  <li>a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her</li>
  <li>between eight and nine: I must carry her word</li>
  <li class="number">quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her</li>
  <li>think what a man is: let her consider his frailty,</li>
  <li>and then judge of my merit.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>I will tell her.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Do so. Between nine and ten, sayest thou?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Eight and nine, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Well, be gone: I will not miss her.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Peace be with you, sir.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent me word</li>
  <li class="number">to stay within: I like his money well. O, here he comes.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FORD</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Bless you, sir!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Now, master Brook, you come to know what hath passed</li>
  <li>between me and Ford's wife?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>That, indeed, Sir John, is my business.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Master Brook, I will not lie to you: I was at her</li>
  <li>house the hour she appointed me.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>And sped you, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Very ill-favoredly, Master Brook.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>How so, sir? Did she change her determination?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">No, Master Brook; but the peaking Cornuto her</li>
  <li>husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual</li>
  <li>'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our</li>
  <li>encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested,</li>
  <li>and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy;</li>
  <li class="number">and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither</li>
  <li>provoked and instigated by his distemper, and,</li>
  <li>forsooth, to search his house for his wife's love.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>What, while you were there?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>While I was there.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">And did he search for you, and could not find you?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes</li>
  <li>in one Mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's</li>
  <li>approach; and, in her invention and Ford's wife's</li>
  <li>distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">A buck-basket!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>By the Lord, a buck-basket! rammed me in with foul</li>
  <li>shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy</li>
  <li>napkins; that, Master Brook, there was the rankest</li>
  <li>compound of villanous smell that ever offended nostril.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">And how long lay you there?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have</li>
  <li>suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good.</li>
  <li>Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's</li>
  <li>knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their</li>
  <li class="number">mistress to carry me in the name of foul clothes to</li>
  <li>Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met</li>
  <li>the jealous knave their master in the door, who</li>
  <li>asked them once or twice what they had in their</li>
  <li>basket: I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave</li>
  <li class="number">would have searched it; but fate, ordaining he</li>
  <li>should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he</li>
  <li>for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But</li>
  <li>mark the sequel, Master Brook: I suffered the pangs</li>
  <li>of three several deaths; first, an intolerable</li>
  <li class="number">fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten</li>
  <li>bell-wether; next, to be compassed, like a good</li>
  <li>bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to</li>
  <li>point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in,</li>
  <li>like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes</li>
  <li class="number">that fretted in their own grease: think of that —  a</li>
  <li>man of my kidney —  think of that —  that am as subject</li>
  <li>to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution</li>
  <li>and thaw: it was a miracle to scape suffocation.</li>
  <li>And in the height of this bath, when I was more than</li>
  <li class="number">half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be</li>
  <li>thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot,</li>
  <li>in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of</li>
  <li>that —  hissing hot —  think of that, Master Brook.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>In good sadness, I am sorry that for my sake you</li>
  <li class="number">have sufferd all this. My suit then is desperate;</li>
  <li>you'll undertake her no more?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have</li>
  <li>been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her</li>
  <li>husband is this morning gone a-birding: I have</li>
  <li class="number">received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt</li>
  <li>eight and nine is the hour, Master Brook.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>'Tis past eight already, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Is it? I will then address me to my appointment.</li>
  <li>Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall</li>
  <li class="number">know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be</li>
  <li>crowned with your enjoying her. Adieu. You shall</li>
  <li>have her, Master Brook; Master Brook, you shall</li>
  <li>cuckold Ford.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I</li>
  <li class="number">sleep? Master Ford awake! awake, Master Ford!</li>
  <li>there's a hole made in your best coat, Master Ford.</li>
  <li>This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen</li>
  <li>and buck-baskets! Well, I will proclaim myself</li>
  <li>what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my</li>
  <li class="number">house; he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he</li>
  <li>should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse,</li>
  <li>nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that</li>
  <li>guides him should aid him, I will search</li>
  <li>impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid,</li>
  <li class="number">yet to be what I would not shall not make me tame:</li>
  <li>if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go</li>
  <li>with me: I'll be horn-mad.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

</section>

</section>

<section class="act">

<h2>ACT IV</h2>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE I.  A street.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and
WILLIAM PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but,</li>
  <li>truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing</li>
  <li>into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young</li>
  <li>man here to school. Look, where his master comes;</li>
  <li>'tis a playing-day, I see.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Enter SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Blessing of his heart!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in</li>
  <li>the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some</li>
  <li>questions in his accidence.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your</li>
  <li>master, be not afraid.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>William, how many numbers is in nouns?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>Two.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Truly, I thought there had been one number more,</li>
  <li class="number">because they say, ''Od's nouns.'</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>Pulcher.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you peace.</li>
  <li class="number">What is 'lapis,' William?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>A stone.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>And what is 'a stone,' William?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>A pebble.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Lapis.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>That is a good William. What is he, William, that</li>
  <li>does lend articles?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus</li>
  <li>declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark:</li>
  <li>genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>Accusativo, hinc.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>I pray you, have your remembrance, child,</li>
  <li>accusative, hung, hang, hog.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative</li>
  <li>case, William?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>O —  vocativo, O.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Remember, William; focative is caret.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">And that's a good root.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>'Oman, forbear.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Peace!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>What is your genitive case plural, William?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>Genitive case!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">Ay.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>Genitive —  horum, harum, horum.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name</li>
  <li>her, child, if she be a whore.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>For shame, 'oman.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">You do ill to teach the child such words: he</li>
  <li>teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do</li>
  <li>fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no</li>
  <li>understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the</li>
  <li class="number">genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as</li>
  <li>I would desires.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Prithee, hold thy peace.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">WILLIAM PAGE</li>
  <li>Forsooth, I have forgot.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,'</li>
  <li>your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be</li>
  <li>preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>He is a better scholar than I thought he was.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Adieu, good Sir Hugh.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE II.  A room in FORD'S house.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS FORD</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my</li>
  <li>sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love,</li>
  <li>and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not</li>
  <li>only, Mistress Ford, in the simple</li>
  <li class="number">office of love, but in all the accoutrement,</li>
  <li>complement and ceremony of it. But are you</li>
  <li>sure of your husband now?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>He's a-birding, sweet Sir John.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Within  What, ho, gossip Ford! what, ho!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Step into the chamber, Sir John.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit FALSTAFF</div>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>How now, sweetheart! who's at home besides yourself?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Why, none but mine own people.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Indeed!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>No, certainly.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Aside to her</li>
  <li class="number">Speak louder.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Why?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again:</li>
  <li>he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails</li>
  <li class="number">against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's</li>
  <li>daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets</li>
  <li>himself on the forehead, crying, 'Peer out, peer</li>
  <li>out!' that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but</li>
  <li>tameness, civility and patience, to this his</li>
  <li class="number">distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Why, does he talk of him?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the</li>
  <li>last time he searched for him, in a basket; protests</li>
  <li>to my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and</li>
  <li class="number">the rest of their company from their sport, to make</li>
  <li>another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad</li>
  <li>the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>How near is he, Mistress Page?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">I am undone! The knight is here.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Why then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead</li>
  <li>man. What a woman are you! — Away with him, away</li>
  <li>with him! better shame than murder.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Which way should be go? how should I bestow him?</li>
  <li class="number">Shall I put him into the basket again?</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter FALSTAFF</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>No, I'll come no more i' the basket. May I not go</li>
  <li>out ere he come?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door</li>
  <li>with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise</li>
  <li class="number">you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>There they always use to discharge their</li>
  <li>birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Where is it?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,</li>
  <li>coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an</li>
  <li>abstract for the remembrance of such places, and</li>
  <li>goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I'll go out then.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir</li>
  <li>John. Unless you go out disguised — </li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>How might we disguise him?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Alas the day, I know not! There is no woman's gown</li>
  <li>big enough for him otherwise he might put on a hat,</li>
  <li class="number">a muffler and a kerchief, and so escape.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather</li>
  <li>than a mischief.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a</li>
  <li>gown above.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he</li>
  <li>is: and there's her thrummed hat and her muffler</li>
  <li>too. Run up, Sir John.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will</li>
  <li>look some linen for your head.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Quick, quick! we'll come dress you straight: put</li>
  <li>on the gown the while.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit FALSTAFF</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he</li>
  <li>cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears</li>
  <li>she's a witch; forbade her my house and hath</li>
  <li class="number">threatened to beat her.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel, and the</li>
  <li>devil guide his cudgel afterwards!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>But is my husband coming?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Ah, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket</li>
  <li class="number">too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the</li>
  <li>basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as</li>
  <li>they did last time.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him</li>
  <li class="number">like the witch of Brentford.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the</li>
  <li>basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.</li>
  <li>We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,</li>
  <li class="number">Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:</li>
  <li>We do not act that often jest and laugh;</li>
  <li>'Tis old, but true, Still swine eat all the draff.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter MISTRESS FORD with two Servants</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders:</li>
  <li>your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it</li>
  <li class="number">down, obey him: quickly, dispatch.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">First Servant</li>
  <li>Come, come, take it up.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Second Servant</li>
  <li>Pray heaven it be not full of knight again.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">First Servant</li>
  <li>I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, DOCTOR CAIUS, and
SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any</li>
  <li class="number">way then to unfool me again? Set down the basket,</li>
  <li>villain! Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket!</li>
  <li>O you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a</li>
  <li>pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil</li>
  <li>be shamed. What, wife, I say! Come, come forth!</li>
  <li class="number">Behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Why, this passes, Master Ford; you are not to go</li>
  <li>loose any longer; you must be pinioned.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">So say I too, sir.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Re-enter MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Come hither, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford the honest</li>
  <li>woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that</li>
  <li>hath the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect</li>
  <li>without cause, mistress, do I?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me in</li>
  <li>any dishonesty.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Well said, brazen-face! hold it out. Come forth, sirrah!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Pulling clothes out of the basket</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>This passes!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">I shall find you anon.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's</li>
  <li>clothes? Come away.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Empty the basket, I say!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Why, man, why?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed</li>
  <li>out of my house yesterday in this basket: why may</li>
  <li>not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is:</li>
  <li>my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable.</li>
  <li>Pluck me out all the linen.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Here's no man.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; this</li>
  <li>wrongs you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the</li>
  <li class="number">imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Well, he's not here I seek for.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Help to search my house this one time. If I find</li>
  <li>not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity; let</li>
  <li class="number">me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of</li>
  <li>me, 'As jealous as Ford, Chat searched a hollow</li>
  <li>walnut for his wife's leman.' Satisfy me once more;</li>
  <li>once more search with me.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>What, ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman</li>
  <li class="number">down; my husband will come into the chamber.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Old woman! what old woman's that?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Nay, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not</li>
  <li>forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does</li>
  <li class="number">she? We are simple men; we do not know what's</li>
  <li>brought to pass under the profession of</li>
  <li>fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells,</li>
  <li>by the figure, and such daubery as this is, beyond</li>
  <li>our element we know nothing. Come down, you witch,</li>
  <li class="number">you hag, you; come down, I say!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Nay, good, sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let him</li>
  <li>not strike the old woman.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Re-enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, and
MISTRESS PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Come, Mother Prat; come, give me your hand.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I'll prat her.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Beating him</li>
  <li class="number">Out of my door, you witch, you hag, you baggage, you</li>
  <li>polecat, you runyon! out, out! I'll conjure you,</li>
  <li>I'll fortune-tell you.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit FALSTAFF</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Are you not ashamed? I think you have killed the</li>
  <li>poor woman.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Hang her, witch!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>By the yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch</li>
  <li>indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard;</li>
  <li>I spy a great peard under his muffler.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow;</li>
  <li>see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus</li>
  <li>upon no trail, never trust me when I open again.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Let's obey his humour a little further: come,</li>
  <li>gentlemen.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, DOCTOR CAIUS, and
SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most</li>
  <li>unpitifully, methought.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>I'll have the cudgel hallowed and hung o'er the</li>
  <li>altar; it hath done meritorious service.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">What think you? may we, with the warrant of</li>
  <li>womanhood and the witness of a good conscience,</li>
  <li>pursue him with any further revenge?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of</li>
  <li>him: if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with</li>
  <li class="number">fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the</li>
  <li>way of waste, attempt us again.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the</li>
  <li>figures out of your husband's brains. If they can</li>
  <li class="number">find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight</li>
  <li>shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be</li>
  <li>the ministers.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I'll warrant they'll have him publicly shamed: and</li>
  <li>methinks there would be no period to the jest,</li>
  <li class="number">should he not be publicly shamed.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Come, to the forge with it then; shape it: I would</li>
  <li>not have things cool.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE III.  A room in the Garter Inn.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter Host and BARDOLPH</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your</li>
  <li>horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at</li>
  <li>court, and they are going to meet him.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>What duke should that be comes so secretly? I hear</li>
  <li class="number">not of him in the court. Let me speak with the</li>
  <li>gentlemen: they speak English?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Ay, sir; I'll call them to you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay;</li>
  <li>I'll sauce them: they have had my house a week at</li>
  <li class="number">command; I have turned away my other guests: they</li>
  <li>must come off; I'll sauce them. Come.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE IV.  A room in FORD'S house.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD,
and SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman as ever</li>
  <li>I did look upon.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>And did he send you both these letters at an instant?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Within a quarter of an hour.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt;</li>
  <li>I rather will suspect the sun with cold</li>
  <li>Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand</li>
  <li>In him that was of late an heretic,</li>
  <li>As firm as faith.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">'Tis well, 'tis well; no more:</li>
  <li>Be not as extreme in submission</li>
  <li>As in offence.</li>
  <li>But let our plot go forward: let our wives</li>
  <li>Yet once again, to make us public sport,</li>
  <li class="number">Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,</li>
  <li>Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>There is no better way than that they spoke of.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>How? to send him word they'll meet him in the park</li>
  <li>at midnight? Fie, fie! he'll never come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">You say he has been thrown in the rivers and has</li>
  <li>been grievously peaten as an old 'oman: methinks</li>
  <li>there should be terrors in him that he should not</li>
  <li>come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have</li>
  <li>no desires.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">So think I too.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,</li>
  <li>And let us two devise to bring him thither.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,</li>
  <li>Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,</li>
  <li class="number">Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,</li>
  <li>Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;</li>
  <li>And there he blasts the tree and takes the cattle</li>
  <li>And makes milch-kine yield blood and shakes a chain</li>
  <li>In a most hideous and dreadful manner:</li>
  <li class="number">You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know</li>
  <li>The superstitious idle-headed eld</li>
  <li>Received and did deliver to our age</li>
  <li>This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Why, yet there want not many that do fear</li>
  <li class="number">In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:</li>
  <li>But what of this?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Marry, this is our device;</li>
  <li>That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come:</li>
  <li class="number">And in this shape when you have brought him thither,</li>
  <li>What shall be done with him? what is your plot?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:</li>
  <li>Nan Page my daughter and my little son</li>
  <li>And three or four more of their growth we'll dress</li>
  <li class="number">Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white,</li>
  <li>With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,</li>
  <li>And rattles in their hands: upon a sudden,</li>
  <li>As Falstaff, she and I, are newly met,</li>
  <li>Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once</li>
  <li class="number">With some diffused song: upon their sight,</li>
  <li>We two in great amazedness will fly:</li>
  <li>Then let them all encircle him about</li>
  <li>And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight,</li>
  <li>And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,</li>
  <li class="number">In their so sacred paths he dares to tread</li>
  <li>In shape profane.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>And till he tell the truth,</li>
  <li>Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound</li>
  <li>And burn him with their tapers.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">The truth being known,</li>
  <li>We'll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,</li>
  <li>And mock him home to Windsor.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>The children must</li>
  <li>Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">I will teach the children their behaviors; and I</li>
  <li>will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the</li>
  <li>knight with my taber.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>That will be excellent. I'll go and buy them vizards.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,</li>
  <li class="number">Finely attired in a robe of white.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>That silk will I go buy.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Aside</li>
  <li>And in that time</li>
  <li>Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away</li>
  <li>And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Nay I'll to him again in name of Brook</li>
  <li>He'll tell me all his purpose: sure, he'll come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Fear not you that. Go get us properties</li>
  <li>And tricking for our fairies.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and fery</li>
  <li class="number">honest knaveries.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Go, Mistress Ford,</li>
  <li>Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>I'll to the doctor: he hath my good will,</li>
  <li>And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.</li>
  <li class="number">That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;</li>
  <li>And he my husband best of all affects.</li>
  <li>The doctor is well money'd, and his friends</li>
  <li>Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,</li>
  <li>Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE V.  A room in the Garter Inn.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter Host and SIMPLE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>What wouldst thou have, boor? what: thick-skin?</li>
  <li>speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff</li>
  <li>from Master Slender.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his</li>
  <li>standing-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about</li>
  <li>with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go</li>
  <li>knock and call; hell speak like an Anthropophaginian</li>
  <li>unto thee: knock, I say.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li class="number">There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his</li>
  <li>chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come</li>
  <li>down; I come to speak with her, indeed.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll</li>
  <li>call. Bully knight! bully Sir John! speak from</li>
  <li class="number">thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine</li>
  <li>host, thine Ephesian, calls.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Above  How now, mine host!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of</li>
  <li>thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her</li>
  <li class="number">descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy?</li>
  <li>fie!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with</li>
  <li>me; but she's gone.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of</li>
  <li class="number">Brentford?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Ay, marry, was it, mussel-shell: what would you with her?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>My master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing</li>
  <li>her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether</li>
  <li>one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the</li>
  <li class="number">chain or no.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I spake with the old woman about it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>And what says she, I pray, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Marry, she says that the very same man that</li>
  <li>beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of</li>
  <li class="number">it.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>I would I could have spoken with the woman herself;</li>
  <li>I had other things to have spoken with her too from</li>
  <li>him.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>What are they? let us know.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">Ay, come; quick.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>I may not conceal them, sir.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Conceal them, or thou diest.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne</li>
  <li>Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to</li>
  <li class="number">have her or no.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>'Tis, 'tis his fortune.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>What, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me so.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>May I be bold to say so, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Ay, sir; like who more bold.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIMPLE</li>
  <li>I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad</li>
  <li>with these tidings.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was</li>
  <li>there a wise woman with thee?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught</li>
  <li>me more wit than ever I learned before in my life;</li>
  <li>and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for</li>
  <li>my learning.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter BARDOLPH</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">BARDOLPH</li>
  <li>Run away with the cozeners; for so soon as I came</li>
  <li>beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind one of</li>
  <li>them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away,</li>
  <li>like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not</li>
  <li>say they be fled; Germans are honest men.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SIR HUGH EVANS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Where is mine host?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>What is the matter, sir?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Have a care of your entertainments: there is a</li>
  <li class="number">friend of mine come to town tells me there is three</li>
  <li>cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of</li>
  <li>Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and</li>
  <li>money. I tell you for good will, look you: you</li>
  <li>are wise and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and</li>
  <li class="number">'tis not convenient you should be cozened. Fare you well.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter DOCTOR CAIUS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Vere is mine host de Jarteer?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Here, master doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me dat</li>
  <li>you make grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by</li>
  <li class="number">my trot, dere is no duke dat the court is know to</li>
  <li>come. I tell you for good vill: adieu.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Hue and cry, villain, go! Assist me, knight. I am</li>
  <li>undone! Fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I would all the world might be cozened; for I have</li>
  <li class="number">been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to</li>
  <li>the ear of the court, how I have been transformed</li>
  <li>and how my transformation hath been washed and</li>
  <li>cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat drop by</li>
  <li>drop and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant</li>
  <li class="number">they would whip me with their fine wits till I were</li>
  <li>as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered</li>
  <li>since I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my</li>
  <li>wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Now, whence come you?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">From the two parties, forsooth.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>The devil take one party and his dam the other! and</li>
  <li>so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered more</li>
  <li>for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy</li>
  <li>of man's disposition is able to bear.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant;</li>
  <li>speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart,</li>
  <li>is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a</li>
  <li>white spot about her.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>What tellest thou me of black and blue? I was</li>
  <li class="number">beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow;</li>
  <li>and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of</li>
  <li>Brentford: but that my admirable dexterity of wit,</li>
  <li>my counterfeiting the action of an old woman,</li>
  <li>delivered me, the knave constable had set me i' the</li>
  <li class="number">stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you</li>
  <li>shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your</li>
  <li>content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good</li>
  <li>hearts, what ado here is to bring you together!</li>
  <li class="number">Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that</li>
  <li>you are so crossed.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Come up into my chamber.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE VI.  Another room in the Garter Inn.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FENTON and Host</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy: I</li>
  <li>will give over all.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,</li>
  <li>And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee</li>
  <li class="number">A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will at the</li>
  <li>least keep your counsel.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>From time to time I have acquainted you</li>
  <li>With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;</li>
  <li class="number">Who mutually hath answer'd my affection,</li>
  <li>So far forth as herself might be her chooser,</li>
  <li>Even to my wish: I have a letter from her</li>
  <li>Of such contents as you will wonder at;</li>
  <li>The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,</li>
  <li class="number">That neither singly can be manifested,</li>
  <li>Without the show of both; fat Falstaff</li>
  <li>Hath a great scene: the image of the jest</li>
  <li>I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host.</li>
  <li>To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one,</li>
  <li class="number">Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen;</li>
  <li>The purpose why, is here: in which disguise,</li>
  <li>While other jests are something rank on foot,</li>
  <li>Her father hath commanded her to slip</li>
  <li>Away with Slender and with him at Eton</li>
  <li class="number">Immediately to marry: she hath consented: Now, sir,</li>
  <li>Her mother, ever strong against that match</li>
  <li>And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed</li>
  <li>That he shall likewise shuffle her away,</li>
  <li>While other sports are tasking of their minds,</li>
  <li class="number">And at the deanery, where a priest attends,</li>
  <li>Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot</li>
  <li>She seemingly obedient likewise hath</li>
  <li>Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests:</li>
  <li>Her father means she shall be all in white,</li>
  <li class="number">And in that habit, when Slender sees his time</li>
  <li>To take her by the hand and bid her go,</li>
  <li>She shall go with him: her mother hath intended,</li>
  <li>The better to denote her to the doctor,</li>
  <li>For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,</li>
  <li class="number">That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed,</li>
  <li>With ribands pendent, flaring 'bout her head;</li>
  <li>And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,</li>
  <li>To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,</li>
  <li>The maid hath given consent to go with him.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li class="number">Which means she to deceive, father or mother?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>Both, my good host, to go along with me:</li>
  <li>And here it rests, that you'll procure the vicar</li>
  <li>To stay for me at church 'twixt twelve and one,</li>
  <li>And, in the lawful name of marrying,</li>
  <li class="number">To give our hearts united ceremony.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">Host</li>
  <li>Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar:</li>
  <li>Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>So shall I evermore be bound to thee;</li>
  <li>Besides, I'll make a present recompense.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

</section>

<section class="act">

<h2>ACT V</h2>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE I.  A room in the Garter Inn.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS QUICKLY</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Prithee, no more prattling; go. I'll hold. This is</li>
  <li>the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd</li>
  <li>numbers. Away I go. They say there is divinity in</li>
  <li>odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death. Away!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to</li>
  <li>get you a pair of horns.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Enter FORD</li>
  <li>How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the matter</li>
  <li>will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the</li>
  <li class="number">Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall</li>
  <li>see wonders.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me</li>
  <li>you had appointed?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor</li>
  <li class="number">old man: but I came from her, Master Brook, like a</li>
  <li>poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband,</li>
  <li>hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him,</li>
  <li>Master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell</li>
  <li>you: he beat me grievously, in the shape of a</li>
  <li class="number">woman; for in the shape of man, Master Brook, I fear</li>
  <li>not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because I know</li>
  <li>also life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along</li>
  <li>with me: I'll tell you all, Master Brook. Since I</li>
  <li>plucked geese, played truant and whipped top, I knew</li>
  <li class="number">not what 'twas to be beaten till lately. Follow</li>
  <li>me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave</li>
  <li>Ford, on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I</li>
  <li>will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow.</li>
  <li>Strange things in hand, Master Brook! Follow.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE II.  Windsor Park.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-ditch till we</li>
  <li>see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender,</li>
  <li>my daughter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her and we have a</li>
  <li class="number">nay-word how to know one another: I come to her in</li>
  <li>white, and cry 'mum;' she cries 'budget;' and by</li>
  <li>that we know one another.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SHALLOW</li>
  <li>That's good too: but what needs either your 'mum'</li>
  <li>or her 'budget?' the white will decipher her well</li>
  <li class="number">enough. It hath struck ten o'clock.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>The night is dark; light and spirits will become it</li>
  <li>well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil</li>
  <li>but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns.</li>
  <li>Let's away; follow me.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE III.  A street leading to the Park.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and
DOCTOR CAIUS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you</li>
  <li>see your time, take her by the band, away with her</li>
  <li>to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before</li>
  <li>into the Park: we two must go together.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li class="number">I know vat I have to do. Adieu.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Fare you well, sir.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Exit DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of</li>
  <li>Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying</li>
  <li>my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little</li>
  <li class="number">chiding than a great deal of heart-break.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies, and the</li>
  <li>Welsh devil Hugh?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak,</li>
  <li>with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of</li>
  <li class="number">Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once</li>
  <li>display to the night.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>That cannot choose but amaze him.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be</li>
  <li>amazed, he will every way be mocked.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">We'll betray him finely.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Against such lewdsters and their lechery</li>
  <li>Those that betray them do no treachery.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE IV.  Windsor Park.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, disguised, with others as Fairies</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts:</li>
  <li>be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and</li>
  <li>when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you:</li>
  <li>come, come; trib, trib.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

</section>

<section class="scene">

<h3>SCENE V.  Another part of the Park.</h3>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter FALSTAFF disguised as Herne</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute</li>
  <li>draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me!</li>
  <li>Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love</li>
  <li>set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some</li>
  <li class="number">respects, makes a beast a man, in some other, a man</li>
  <li>a beast. You were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love</li>
  <li>of Leda. O omnipotent Love! how near the god drew</li>
  <li>to the complexion of a goose! A fault done first in</li>
  <li>the form of a beast. O Jove, a beastly fault! And</li>
  <li class="number">then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think</li>
  <li>on 't, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have hot</li>
  <li>backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a</li>
  <li>Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the</li>
  <li>forest. Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can</li>
  <li class="number">blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my</li>
  <li>doe?</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain</li>
  <li>potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green</li>
  <li class="number">Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits and snow eringoes; let</li>
  <li>there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Divide me like a bribe buck, each a haunch: I will</li>
  <li>keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow</li>
  <li class="number">of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands.</li>
  <li>Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter?</li>
  <li>Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes</li>
  <li>restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Noise within</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Alas, what noise?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Heaven forgive our sins</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>What should this be?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Away, away!</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">They run off</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the</li>
  <li>oil that's in me should set hell on fire; he would</li>
  <li class="number">never else cross me thus.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, disguised as before; PISTOL,
as Hobgoblin; MISTRESS QUICKLY, ANNE PAGE, and
others, as Fairies, with tapers</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>Fairies, black, grey, green, and white,</li>
  <li>You moonshine revellers and shades of night,</li>
  <li>You orphan heirs of fixed destiny,</li>
  <li>Attend your office and your quality.</li>
  <li class="number">Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys.</li>
  <li>Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap:</li>
  <li>Where fires thou find'st unraked and hearths unswept,</li>
  <li>There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry:</li>
  <li class="number">Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die:</li>
  <li>I'll wink and couch: no man their works must eye.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Lies down upon his face</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Where's Bede? Go you, and where you find a maid</li>
  <li>That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,</li>
  <li class="number">Raise up the organs of her fantasy;</li>
  <li>Sleep she as sound as careless infancy:</li>
  <li>But those as sleep and think not on their sins,</li>
  <li>Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides and shins.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>About, about;</li>
  <li class="number">Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out:</li>
  <li>Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room:</li>
  <li>That it may stand till the perpetual doom,</li>
  <li>In state as wholesome as in state 'tis fit,</li>
  <li>Worthy the owner, and the owner it.</li>
  <li class="number">The several chairs of order look you scour</li>
  <li>With juice of balm and every precious flower:</li>
  <li>Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,</li>
  <li>With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!</li>
  <li>And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing,</li>
  <li class="number">Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring:</li>
  <li>The expressure that it bears, green let it be,</li>
  <li>More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;</li>
  <li>And 'Honi soit qui mal y pense' write</li>
  <li>In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue and white;</li>
  <li class="number">Let sapphire, pearl and rich embroidery,</li>
  <li>Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee:</li>
  <li>Fairies use flowers for their charactery.</li>
  <li>Away; disperse: but till 'tis one o'clock,</li>
  <li>Our dance of custom round about the oak</li>
  <li class="number">Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set</li>
  <li>And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be,</li>
  <li>To guide our measure round about the tree.</li>
  <li>But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he</li>
  <li>transform me to a piece of cheese!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>Vile worm, thou wast o'erlook'd even in thy birth.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li>With trial-fire touch me his finger-end:</li>
  <li>If he be chaste, the flame will back descend</li>
  <li class="number">And turn him to no pain; but if he start,</li>
  <li>It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PISTOL</li>
  <li>A trial, come.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Come, will this wood take fire?</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">They burn him with their tapers</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Oh, Oh, Oh!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS QUICKLY</li>
  <li class="number">Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!</li>
  <li>About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme;</li>
  <li>And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.</li>
  <li class="subhead">SONG.</li>
  <li>Fie on sinful fantasy!</li>
  <li>Fie on lust and luxury!</li>
  <li class="number">Lust is but a bloody fire,</li>
  <li>Kindled with unchaste desire,</li>
  <li>Fed in heart, whose flames aspire</li>
  <li>As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher.</li>
  <li>Pinch him, fairies, mutually;</li>
  <li class="number">Pinch him for his villany;</li>
  <li>Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about,</li>
  <li>Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS
comes one way, and steals away a boy in green;
SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white;
and FENTON comes and steals away ANN PAGE.
A noise of hunting is heard within. All the
Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's
head, and rises</div>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, and MISTRESS FORD</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch'd you now</li>
  <li>Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher</li>
  <li>Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?</li>
  <li>See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes</li>
  <li>Become the forest better than the town?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? Master Brook,</li>
  <li class="number">Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his</li>
  <li>horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath</li>
  <li>enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his</li>
  <li>cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be</li>
  <li>paid to Master Brook; his horses are arrested for</li>
  <li class="number">it, Master Brook.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS FORD</li>
  <li>Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet.</li>
  <li>I will never take you for my love again; but I will</li>
  <li>always count you my deer.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li class="number">Ay, and an ox too: both the proofs are extant.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>And these are not fairies? I was three or four</li>
  <li>times in the thought they were not fairies: and yet</li>
  <li>the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my</li>
  <li>powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a</li>
  <li class="number">received belief, in despite of the teeth of all</li>
  <li>rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now</li>
  <li>how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent, when 'tis upon</li>
  <li>ill employment!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your</li>
  <li class="number">desires, and fairies will not pinse you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Well said, fairy Hugh.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li>And leave your jealousies too, I pray you.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>I will never mistrust my wife again till thou art</li>
  <li>able to woo her in good English.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li class="number">Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it, that</li>
  <li>it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erreaching as</li>
  <li>this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I</li>
  <li>have a coxcomb of frize? 'Tis time I were choked</li>
  <li>with a piece of toasted cheese.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">Seese is not good to give putter; your belly is all putter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>'Seese' and 'putter'! have I lived to stand at the</li>
  <li>taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This</li>
  <li>is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking</li>
  <li>through the realm.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Why Sir John, do you think, though we would have the</li>
  <li>virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders</li>
  <li>and have given ourselves without scruple to hell,</li>
  <li>that ever the devil could have made you our delight?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">A puffed man?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Old, cold, withered and of intolerable entrails?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>And one that is as slanderous as Satan?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>And as poor as Job?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>And as wicked as his wife?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SIR HUGH EVANS</li>
  <li class="number">And given to fornications, and to taverns and sack</li>
  <li>and wine and metheglins, and to drinkings and</li>
  <li>swearings and starings, pribbles and prabbles?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>Well, I am your theme: you have the start of me; I</li>
  <li>am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh</li>
  <li class="number">flannel; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use</li>
  <li>me as you will.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one</li>
  <li>Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to</li>
  <li>whom you should have been a pander: over and above</li>
  <li class="number">that you have suffered, I think to repay that money</li>
  <li>will be a biting affliction.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset</li>
  <li>to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to</li>
  <li>laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her</li>
  <li class="number">Master Slender hath married her daughter.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Aside  Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my</li>
  <li>daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter SLENDER</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>Whoa ho! ho, father Page!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">Dispatched! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire</li>
  <li>know on't; would I were hanged, la, else.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Of what, son?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page,</li>
  <li>and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been</li>
  <li class="number">i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he</li>
  <li>should have swinged me. If I did not think it had</li>
  <li>been Anne Page, would I might never stir! — and 'tis</li>
  <li>a postmaster's boy.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Upon my life, then, you took the wrong.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li class="number">What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took</li>
  <li>a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for</li>
  <li>all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had</li>
  <li>him.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how</li>
  <li class="number">you should know my daughter by her garments?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">SLENDER</li>
  <li>I went to her in white, and cried 'mum,' and she</li>
  <li>cried 'budget,' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet</li>
  <li>it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose;</li>
  <li class="number">turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is</li>
  <li>now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Enter DOCTOR CAIUS</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha'</li>
  <li>married un garcon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy;</li>
  <li>it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Why, did you take her in green?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">DOCTOR CAIUS</li>
  <li>Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy: by gar, I'll raise all Windsor.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exit</div>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>My heart misgives me: here comes Master Fenton.</li>
  <li class="stage-direction">Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li>How now, Master Fenton!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">ANNE PAGE</li>
  <li class="number">Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon!</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Now, mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Why went you not with master doctor, maid?</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FENTON</li>
  <li>You do amaze her: hear the truth of it.</li>
  <li>You would have married her most shamefully,</li>
  <li class="number">Where there was no proportion held in love.</li>
  <li>The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,</li>
  <li>Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.</li>
  <li>The offence is holy that she hath committed;</li>
  <li>And this deceit loses the name of craft,</li>
  <li class="number">Of disobedience, or unduteous title,</li>
  <li>Since therein she doth evitate and shun</li>
  <li>A thousand irreligious cursed hours,</li>
  <li>Which forced marriage would have brought upon her.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Stand not amazed; here is no remedy:</li>
  <li class="number">In love the heavens themselves do guide the state;</li>
  <li>Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to</li>
  <li>strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">PAGE</li>
  <li>Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy!</li>
  <li class="number">What cannot be eschew'd must be embraced.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FALSTAFF</li>
  <li>When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">MISTRESS PAGE</li>
  <li>Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton,</li>
  <li>Heaven give you many, many merry days!</li>
  <li>Good husband, let us every one go home,</li>
  <li class="number">And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire;</li>
  <li>Sir John and all.</li>
</ol>

<ol class="speech">
  <li class="speaker">FORD</li>
  <li>Let it be so. Sir John,</li>
  <li>To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word</li>
  <li>For he tonight shall lie with Mistress Ford.</li>
</ol>

<div class="stage-direction">Exeunt</div>

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